one of those moments...

there are moments where i hate my life

and right now is one of those moments

it's only to a certain degree that i can tolerate her...

every single day...

"stop being so lazy, clean up your room"

"if you're lazy now, you'll be lazy when you grow up"

"get off the computer"

" turn the computer off at 10:30 or i won't let you use it tomorrow"

"if you're going to practice piano, practice early"

"i'm only telling you for your own good"

"you're just like your brother"
"you're no different to your brother"
"why are you on the computer, you're not doing work if you're on the computer"

i can't take it anymore
i don't know how my brother put up with her for 26 years
it's been 16 years for me,  and already i can't take it
yes everyone who meets her thinks she's one of those awesome people
who are nice to their children and let them do anything
she is the biggest barrier in my life


it's not that i don't love her
it's that she can't let go of us
she has to know what i'm doing every single second of my life
if i am just one minute late home
she questions me and asks where i was
if i am with someone she doesn't know
she immediately thinks that, that person is a bad person

before when she questioned me about things
i always talked back
and tried to get my point across
it always ended up in a fight
now, i ignore her
i don't answer her because i know it will end up as a fight
even though everything she says angers me
i don't speak
i just let my anger rise
but then she gets angry that i don't speak
and says that i am no different to my brother


she should know why
she just doesn't get it
she has to let go of us

with the HSC coming up
i am going to get twice the amount of stress
i know that later on in the year
i will crack
i know that later on in the year 
i am going to lose it

sometimes i really don't like the life i was born into...
sometimes i hate it so much...
i don't think i can write that happy blog i've been planning to write since the morning
i'm sorry...